From my experience, young children in this country are incredibly spoiled. When I was in training I would go to a friend’s house and when her little boy wanted her attention he would slap her until he got it. I was horrified! She did not correct him or do anything to make him stop.
There is 3 1/2 year old little girl in this house and for my first year she was mostly sweet and loving. She has turned into a demon. One day recently, she stood at the top of the steps and called my name. When I responded she said “fuck you”. I was shocked. And she said it with the malice that that particular phrase is usually uttered in the states–which had me in tears. No one said a word. I talked to Faton, her father, and he was pretty shocked. Then she started giving the finger to everyone. When she does this to me, I grab her hand when I can catch her and look her square in the eyes and tell her to never do that again. Her response? She starts shrieking. You would think I beat her or something. Or she will get mad at me because I talked to her little brother (he’s 4 months old). She will try to strike me to make me get away or she runs and slams a door for effect or she spits at me. Today at lunch she grabbed a loaf of bread that had just been purchased and took a bite out of the center of it and walked around the room with it hanging from her mouth looking at everyone, hoping for a reaction. I refused to rise to the bait and just ignored her. Finally her mother said something and took the loaf of bread away from her. She began her incessant shrieking again and grandma gave the loaf of bread back to her. Then as we were eating, she started calling me names and grandma and a cousin just laugh. After lunch, I stopped to talk to the baby as he was fussing. For some reason he gets really calm and happy when I am there. He dropped his pacifier so I picked it up and handed it to his mother. Elsa was furious so Sevime (mother) threw it and told her to pick it up. She picked it up, threw it across the room and then went into the other room and slammed the door. Additionally, when they are watching TV, she takes the remote and will adjust the volume up or down, change the channel or turn the TV off. Quite often, no one says a word and lets her control it. If someone takes the remote from her–she shrieks. How do you deal with that behaviour? I’m so frustrated. I just stay in my room or go into town to avoid having to deal with this child.
Parents don’t seem to discipline these children. And yet by the time they get to school they seem to be reasonably well behaved and are the most loving kids you have ever seen. When I arrive or leave school, I am mobbed with kids wanting to touch me and say goodbye or hello. There have been times that they almost knock me over when they run to hug me. I’m literally surrounded. Even the older ones come running up to me with a hug and a kiss–boys included. So I don’t know when this transition occurs but I can’t handle too much more of this. And perhaps the two cases I have cited are not typical of all the children. I do see lots of really small ones out playing or going to the store for Mom and they don’t display any of these aberrant behaviours. But in this house, all Elsa has to do is shriek and she is rewarded with whatever she wants and let’s not worry about any one but her. It has really worn on my nerves and really made me think seriously about cutting my service short. If the meds I am on right now don’t work and they suggest a med sep, I will take it! It has become that intolerable.